I went to Florida kinda recently ('bout a month ago). I meant to post this blog shortly after the trip, but in true Stathes fashion I put it off until I felt it was time. I was accompanied by my bitch, Rachel Isaacs and her sister, Katy. Katy got accepted into this pseudo internship thing at Disney World where she'll work at Disney World and in return basically get to live in Florida for the next 5.5 months.
The drive up wasn't too bad, just really fucking long. We arrive at at our destination (Rachel and Katy's old sister, Stacy's house) around 5pm or so. I'm greeted with a warm welcome (this is my first time meeting her older sister and her husband) and eventually we eat dinner. It was goddamn delicious. Those Isaacs broads can cook with the best of 'em. Oh yeah, I also got to hang out with a four year old for a week - their kid Greg. I wasn't aware of this until the trip, but I love kids?? (Fag.) Enough boring details!
I went to the Salvador Dalí museum. Dalí is my favorite artist of all time, upon entering I nearly wept.
The Persistence of Memory was just kickin' it on the wall right when you walk in. It was tiny, no bigger than a piece of paper. My favorite painting of all time,
The Hallucinogenic Toreador was there and that nigga's huge. 13 feet tall kinda huge. Chances are it's taller than the room you're reading this in (assuming anyone reads this lolololololollol). Oh yeah - on the way to the museum I bought a copy of
No More Heroes with a Best Buy gift card I got for Christmas. That may get it's own blog.
On the way back from the museum we ate at one of six Skyline Chili locations in Florida. It was bizarre walking in there 'cause it looked just like any Skyline you'd find around here. The staff were all wearing Cincinnati Reds gear and there were posters of the Cincinnati skyline and other stuff that just kinda hit home. But the food was rubbish. Fuck Floridian Skylines forever. The onions tasted like poison.
I think the next day was Easter, Stacy's in-laws cooked some lamb 'cause they knew I was gonna be there and that I was Greek (hah.) We got to hide a bunch of Easter eggs for small children to find and it was an all around pleasant time.
After our stint at Stacy's house (three, maybe four days??) we left to take Katy to Disneyzone. The traffic was an abomination, it took us infinity hours to get to her new apartment. Luckily the sun was extremely hot and our van had no AC. After parting ways with Katy Rachel and I got to our hotel room, 'cause we were going to Disney World the next day!
Ok - Katy was supposed to be able to get us free tickets via her internship program, but that fell through. So we were left to our own devices to get tickets to Disney World. Upon entering the hotel the night before, I remember seeing an area with a sign that said "cheap tickets" or some shit. I go there the next morning and ask what the deal is. The gentleman eyes me down for a second and says "you have to be married to get the discount," to which I reply "I am married! We're on our honeymoon, actually." Sick fuckin' power - it's gonna work. He tells me that he can give me to tickets for the the price of one...but first! First we have to go somewhere and get a tour of this time share thing. Its just ten minutes down the road and takes about an hour. Werd, I can deal. We expect it to be some group tour, we can just kick it in the back until it's over, collect our prize and proceed to enjoy America's #1 vacation destination.
Nope! We get there and are called by name "Gus and Rachel...Stat-hees?" so we go up to meet out businessman of the afternoon (Dennis) who will, for the next hour, try to convince me why I need to invest $10,000 into a time share, one on one. Man to man. You see, in addition to being married, I also told people that I made $60k a year working for a family print shop. Also, Rachel who is in real life unemployed told these people that she works at a day care for some pretty hot cash. I guess be believed it, though...somehow. I was wearing my Squids Eye Records t-shirt with my road worn jeans and hair that hadn't been washed in about five days. He actually called me out on being a musician. He informed me he was a rocker too! He showed my his cell phone background which was boasting the Bon Jovi logo and then tells me I look just like the singer from Pearl Jam..."Eddie Vader."
I tell him that I'm not interested and we get our tickets and go go GO!
We went to the Epcot center and it was pretty cool. I honestly don't have much to comment on about it, I thought maybe it was a bit overrated. The "around the world" area was cool enough and Figment was pretty cute, but the park was a bit too small or something. I dunno - I left feeling a bit unfulfilled. Maybe 'cause it's designed for kids or parents with kids and I'm a 23 year old dude that doesn't even have a cat. The fireworks display at the end of the night was fucking breathtaking, though.
The drive home sucked my dick eternally, we got caught in Atlantic traffic for a good 4 hours then encountered the worst fog I evar seed in Tennessee. The drive was so atrocious I care not to write about it any longer. KBYE.
